Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Stoopid Human Tricks II


Islam Is A Religion of Peace...And If You Say Otherwise, We Will Kill You!

Hey, Baby...What'cha Doin' After The Peace Protest?


Tres Chic!
Here we see the latest in protestor couture from the Abby Hoffman collection. This striking ensemble is topped-off with a tan straw coolie hat and non-matching Kaffeyieh scarf, worn around the ample waistline. Note the skinny arms, bulbous waistline, and sickly pale complexion which could only be obtained by staying indoors playing video games on Mom's sofa 18 hours per day and avoiding any sort of manual labor all of his life.
Of course what protest would be complete without at least one nod to Godwin's law...gotta have a swastika displayed to demonstrate dissaproval with...uh, whatever. You see? In the protestors' little world, just comparing someone to "Hitler" is seen as insightful political rhetoric, even if it doesn't make any sense at all.
For instance; "Bush is Hitler", "Blair is Hitler", "Cheney is Hitler"...Get the idea?
However, Saddam Hussein wasn't Hitler...even though he invaded neighboring countries, gassed his own people, wore a military uniform, had a silly-looking moustache, and wore funny hats. Oh, but he's NOT Hitler.
Look, I'm not exactly a Bush fan, but I just can't get past the logical fact that if Bush was anything at all like Hitler, this dumbassed protestor would have already been herded onto a boxcar and sent away to a camp. Hey, there's an idea...no, WAIT!...Oh, nevermind.

Well, It's Too Late For His Parents To Heed Such Wise Advice!



In his case, it appears to be "Stop Bathing".

That should preclude any breeding opportunities for him.

Anti-Richard Gere Protest

Save the Gerbils...try fisting a chipmunk, today.
Well, it does appear that the little guy is enjoying it.
It's not clear why this very strange man saw fit to paste hobby-lobby fake leaves to his clothing and hat. Perhaps it's a means of camouflage so that he can sneak-up and goose other unsuspecting woodland creatures.
Anyway, Nature Boy's protest message is very unclear and open to many disturbing interpretations.

Say What?


Anybody have any idea what this is supposed to mean?
Huh?...Any ideas at all?
Please, help...I'm trying to understand.
How about:
"Gasoline + idiot protestor + lit match = Burningman 2000fun!"
Hey, wait! Isn't that one of those wasteful gas-guzzling SUVs that they are driving?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Stoopid Human Tricks (or U.S. Out of North America!)




Can someone explain protestors to me? I don't quite grasp the rationale behind what they are doing.

OK...Does the stupid fatfuck holding the palestinian flag, wearing a Kaffieyah, sporting campy/retro church-lady sunglasses, and carrying a Che purse actually think that the absurd spectacle of him standing on a streetcorner looking ridiculous is a form of political discourse? In his wildest dreams does he really believe that someone who is normally conservative and Pro-Israel is going to notice him and go; "You know...fat-bearded-smelly-guy is right...the Palestinians should have their own country, and to do it we need to drive all the Israelis into the Mediterranean and kill them. Yeah...THAT'S the ticket!"

As for the blue hat guy; It's certain that his non-existent ovaries are completely safe from government intrustion. In fact, most of the black-uniformed jackbooted government thugs that I know would be so interested in joining the hippie chicks who are forming the conga line in the background that they aren't going to even notice him, even if he were somehow miraculously endowed with female genitalia.
Hey! Yellow-rainhat-lady! Would you at least learn how to draw a proper peace sign? Is THAT too much to ask? Mercedes Benz is not sponsoring the hippie-dippy peace rally...and yes-yes, we know that you really love your new 360 LS.



Thursday, May 1, 2008

I Hate Those Vytorin Ads!!!










We've all seen them. They are those irritating ads which show some kind of food and standing next to it is a creepy-weird old person who is dressed in a manner which subliminally makes them look like the particular food product. The jist of it is that you get cholesterol from your diet, but how your body processes it is effected by heredity.

OK! We get it, but something about those ads is just wrong.

Imagine Jeffery Dahmer eating his relatives and then having a high HDL cholesterol level at his next physical. That would illustrate the effects of both heredity and diet at the same time.
The only way they could make these ads any more disturbing would be to feature Rosie O'Donnell standing next to a steaming plate of pickled hog intestines.

In fact, I don't even like this post being on my blog, because of the hideous shade of crimson which comprises most of it. I am truly vexed by it. My lame attempt at rectifying it by changing the background to mint green only made it worse.