Ah, let's return to the innocence of the 1950s...when products could be endorsed by effeminate practitioners of the occult without provoking the ire of the religious right. If this brand was still on the shelves, we'd have Pat Robertson indentifying each of the cryptic satanic symbols on the box, while Jerry Falwell would accuse the cartoon wizard spokesman of being gay. Of course, Falwell accuses lots of fictional characters of being gay (kinda makes you wonder what HIS deal is, doesn't it).
But there is plenty to find disturbing about this image. Just look at the maniacal facial expression that he displays as he summons his dark Lord from the depths of the underworld by playing the devil's tri-tone on the musical pentagrams. Yes, this sugar-coated spawn of Beelzebub was relegated back to the hottest corner of the infernal regions where it belongs. I guess they can claim that; "it stays crunchy...even in brimstone."
If you're still not convinced that "Wizard All Stars" was a gay-commie-satanic plot to undermine America's greatness...just take a look at the reverse side of the package. They don't even give a decent prize inside the box...your kids get to cut-out a mask of Satan's top-hatted minion, so that they can take turns becoming just like him.
Probably when concerned parents did complain, Kellog's marketing team made a frantic reversal with a lame attempt to appeal to Cold War patriotism and the military industrial complex by offering a Nuclear submarine kit...for only 25 cents! What the USS Nautilus has to do with an effete top-hat wearing conjurer is anyone's guess. Maybe, he could wave his magic fairie wand for a fantasy visit to the sailor's quarters? Or perhaps it was a conspiracy by Kellogs to forward the classified plans for our frontline strategic fleet ballistic missile submarines straight to their Marxist brethren at the Kremlin. Fortunately for the free world, their diabolical plans were thwarted.
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